Now, I'm not saying I don't find geeks attractive. Because I very much do. I was a big fan of the whole "Geek Cute" movement when it came about in popular culture. I embraced Adam Brody as Seth in the OC. I've always been a fan of men who enjoy reading and wearing glasses, so the fact that it became 'cool' to wear glasses and read books excited me. Cardigans and tweed jackets, too? I was one happy girl living in geek-ed out world.
The magnetism that geeks hold for me is strong. I am drawn to them like I am drawn to Chubby Hubby ice cream or tea cup pigs. Deep down I wish to bond with a geek, form our own covalent bond. Sharing parts of each other to make a new molecule, stable with in its codependent nature.
And let's be honest here, I'm pretty geeky myself. I'm not a Bond girl or a Playgirl. I'm Sabrina Duncan, the brunette, "smart" Charlie's Angel. I'm Velma from Scooby-Doo.
So of course my sexcapades are definitely not straight out of COSMO. It's simple math:
GEEK BOY + GEEK GIRL + SEX = UNSEXY TIMES
To prove my mathematical equation, I will use some personal experience:
DARTH VADER'S A LOVER NOT A HATER
This geek boy was getting his doctorate in biochemistry. He was explaining his research to me once, and what I remember from it was that he inserts microchips in rats' brains. He has a poster of some molecular bonds and equations up in his study. His bookshelf is full of MICROBIOLOGY and CHEMISTRY textbooks. And I had a fear of falling asleep around him, convinced I might become his new brain project, inserting something in my brain that would make me want to bake cookies for him and have sex with him 24/7. A Stepford Mistress. Hey, it could happen.
Well one night after doing our own kind of bonding, he went to the bathroom. He came back into the bedroom with a Darth Vader helmet on. Now, it wasn't just the helmet, because that would be lame. It had a voicebox that let you either talk and sound like Vader or push a button to state a famous Vader phrase. He was wearing nothing else, just the Vader helmet. One of the buttons let you make the creepy heavy breathing noise, so he kept pushing that one for awhile. He then came back into bed, telling me that the force was strong with me and that I didn't know the power of the dark side. We then had an intimate conversation about the two kids he had and his plans to build a moon like superweapon. This also brought on a "Who's your Daddy?" discussion. This lasted for I'd say 15 minutes. I then decided it was time for me to get out before he killed me with his force grip.
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA
This geek asked me to come over and hang out, watch some television or a movie. So, I went over, assuming that this was cover for him wanting me to come over so we could at the least make out. When I get there he is watching Battlestar Galactica. I've never watched an episode of this show and my knowledge of it is seriously limited. I told him this much. He decided he needed to educate me on the inner workings of this sci-fi universe. He gave me some tidbits of information while we waited for this particular episode ended. He informed me that he had been watching a whole season via Netflix. After the episode ended, I thought our conversation of sci-fi would end and the lip locking would begin. But, that's not exactly how that went down. Instead, he stood up, walked over to me, and kept talking about the show and how cool it was. How it was one of the best series on television, explaining the complexity of the characters. He kept talking, moving closer to me. Still discussing the immortal nature of some of the characters who would just be rebooted into new humans if their old human suits failed, he began to undress and take off my shirt. No joke. Battlestar Galactica had become foreplay.
So, no, these sexual situations were not taken from Cosmo or a Romance novel. Instead of a man telling me all the dirty things he was going to do to me while shedding my clothes I had a man telling me the major differences between the two races of beings inhabiting Earth. I didn't get sweet pillow talk and cuddling after sex; I got Darth Vader sharing his life plans and his troubled past.
Which of course might sound lack luster and pitiful. And super humorous (because these stories are laughable). But for me, these situations were interesting and memorable as they were unique. How many lucky girls can say they slept with Darth Vader? Not many I'd say. And now I'm much better educated in Battlestar Galactica and associate this show with sexual relations which I think most Geeks will find a desirable quality in a woman.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that sex is never perfect. It's never a scene from a Romance novel. It's never going to be that scenario described in Cosmo or Glamour. Because life happens and spices things up. Who wants cookie cutter sex anyway? Each individual brings something to sex, so when you pair up with someone this experience will be unique and different from previous hook ups. It might be a hot, passionate hook up or one that's full of laughter and fun. Either way, it's good in its own way.
Until next time, may the force be with you....
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