A Way With Words

I am reading this book, Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. It was written by Helen Fisher, who is an anthropologist and overall bad ass. The whole book is based on how she proved, with other scientists and using brain scans, that "When you fall in love, specific areas of the brain 'light up' with increased blood flow." She also argues that "romantic passion is hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger."

The books is not too technical, and I will spare you the details, but she makes some pretty compelling arguments on how chemicals of the brain play a role in romantic love, attachment, and lust, and the way these chemicals interact with each other influences our need for love.

What I find interesting is how she links love to an evolutionary necessity for the human race. She posits that love has been hardwired into our brains so we can effectively procreate and protect our young. She talks of why men seek certain women and women seek certain men; it is so we can copulate and produce healthy, strong babies.

Now for what this post is really about....

In one part of the book she states that most of our human flair (singing, complex language, wit, etc. Most of the things are superfluous for basic survival) came to be because humans needed to show off for a mate. Our ancestors needed to show how they were superior and more intelligent.

Basically, they needed to show they were the bee's knees. The cat's meow.

Fisher believes that language is a woo-ing tool: "But with words they could also woo. Men and women could tell clever stories, chant sexy tunes, and entice would-be lovers with insightful thoughts. With words, our forebears could flatter, tempt, and tease. As primitive human language gradually emerged, our forebears must have begun our endless human chat about, and with, 'him' and 'her'."

In another part she states that "women are more pragmatic and realistic when they love." Which means that women deliberate on a mate or commitment to a mate for a longer period of time than men. (Because....we spend nine months of our lives carrying a baby around and an average of four years caring for that baby. We have to be discriminating on that sort of thing.)

In this section she also explains that women are more eager to "choose tall, symmetrical [more attractive] men with chiseled cheekbones and rugged jaws [signs of high levels of testosterone], men who are likely to have sturdy genes."

So...not only does Helen Fisher prove how the brain lights up during love, she also proves that I, Chelsea Magruder, have a keen eye for a perfect mate.

Yes, you might have thought...Chelsea, you are expecting too much from a mate. Why would you ever think you would find a guy with chiseled cheekbones, a rugged jaws, insightful thoughts, a way with words and who is highly symmetrical?

Because, my friends, I am a pragmatic woman looking for a worthy mate. Obviously I am just not settling for a weakling with inferior genes. I am looking for a man to copulate, procreate and perpetuate with. This is serious business.

You might then say...Chelsea...this man does not exist! These are ridiculous standards and expectations!!!

To this I answer....Oh yeah?.....