Monday, August 02, 2010

Part 2

Like I said...things got odd. Real quick.

After a wonderful junior high-esque make out session, Jablonski decided to drop some word bombs on me. Like....

I love you.
I guess you're my girlfriend now.

Now, part of me wanted him to say those things. But what. the. fuck.

Then I'm informed that necking in the front seat of my parents' car in his parents' driveway equals our first date. I had no words. Honestly, what does one say to that string of absurdities?

He also told me that he felt like we had real chemistry and that I was the best kisser. Which wasn't as absurd. As we parted, he told me he'd call me the next day. But on my way home I thought about that possibility and decided that since he always fails to call me, history would just repeat itself.

Believe it or not.........he called me. And we hung out again. We talked about the possibility of a relationship. He really wanted to go for it, even though I live 3 hours away now. Try to work out a way for us to visit each other and talk. I just stated the obvious. That distance would be too hard. It wouldn't be enough. He agreed, but was still not satisfied. We decided we would talk more and hang out when I came back. He talked about coming to visit. We made out some more and he told me how amazing I was. A girl can definitely get use to being showered with adoration and compliments.

I think my favorite gushy/sweet thing he told me was that he wished we would have done this sooner so he could have had more time to know me better. I think my favorite dirty-ish thing he told me was when he told me just looking at me drove him wild. My favorite favorite thing is when he just held me in his arms and I felt small and vulnerable yet extremely safe.

He has called me since that weekend. A couple of times. We talk about our days and just small talk stuff. Those conversations leave me with a stupid grin on my face. I look forward to them and my heart skips a beat when I see his number flashing on my phone. I feel girly and amazing.

He called me tonight after work because he was thinking about me and wanted to see how my day was

Last week I found myself laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, and actually felt as if I were aching for him.

You're probably awwww-ing and ohh-ing, thinking, Happily-ever-after!

Yet.....I can't give in. It's everything you'd ever want, right? Grade-A Lifetime Movie, romance novel stuff going on here. It's just...I find flaws in every aspect of it. He lives three hours away. He'll never move away from Norwich. I don't want to make him commit to me, three hours away, when there are girls closer to home. And on and on and on and on.

Part of me thinks I'm not good for him. I'll never be that stay at home Mom type of woman I think he wants. I'd feel guilty I think.

I'm also freaked out that I'll fall incredibly hard from that high, high pedestal he has me on. He seems to think I'm some sort of goddess, which is flattering, but I'm not. I'm flawed and I'm afraid when he sees those flaws, he'll bolt. And that will hurt me bad.

So...this story doesn't really have an end. It's in the works. I don't think I have a real lesson from this one, either.

The only thing I can say is that there is nothing quite like when boy meets girl.

No comments:

Post a Comment