The Magic Minute

So...just to warn you, this post deals with sexual content. Which means it is rated PG-13, and persons under the age of 13 should not read this post without being accompanied by a legal adult.

Now that I have all the perverts and sexual deviants licking their chops, here is tonight's post...


The Magic Minute.

What, do you ask, is the Magic Minute.

Well, my female friends, that is the promise a man makes to you to show his raw sexual power. His masculine dominance over your delicate, feminine libido. It usually follows a phrase of making you reach an outstanding climax with using only one and/or two of his phalanges of the hand.

I have heard this Magic Minute promise twice in my life. Which, if you ask me, is two too many times.

Magic Minute #1
In high school, this guy from another town came to hang out with me and some friends. He was cute. Uber cute. And his best friend was flirting/trying to get on my best friends. We were in the back of my friend's Jeep, talking. He had a girlfriend, but he was slowly but surely making his way over to me. I pulled away. Then he decided to let me know what letting him get closer could mean in the form of this romantic sentence: "I can make you cum in one minute with just two fingers."

WTF. Really? Gee whiz, Mister. You must be the man of my dreams.

I kindly declined to see if his offer was true or not. After this incident, I noted its strangeness and laughed it off, thinking it was a once in a lifetime comment to share as a funny story with friends. So, this explains my surprise when.....

Magic Minute #2
College. Oh, the years of strange experiences and stories. I was dating a boy pretty seriously at this time. It was a house party, at his house, when I started to talk to this guy. He was cute. I had previously, while intoxicated, grabbed his junk on the urging of a one Allison Richardson. This night, we were talking. I was a bit tipsy, so I am not exactly sure why were talking about me dating my boyfriend and why this guy brought up getting with him. But, the conversation found its way to this proposal from him: "I can make you cum in one minute with one finger."

.....It was eerie. It was almost the EXACT SAME sentence uttered to me all those years ago in the Jeep. Although, in this guy's defense, his maturity had brought with it the experience to accomplish the unthinkable with the use of only one finger, not two. Despite his upping the ante, I yet again kindly declined this gentleman like offer.

Now, these incidents would not starkly stick out in my mind if I heard my friends tell me similar stories of men promising the same thing. I mean, using this exact same phrase. For real. What are the chances of the exact same offer, like that, being said to you in your life time? Slim I would think.

This is what really perplexes me about the whole thing. I am not a very experienced person when it comes to sexual activities, but I am just going to say that saying that you will be getting me to orgasm in a Magic Minute is not the way to get me to go to bed with you. Most people, I would venture to say, are not of the wham bam thank you ma'am variety.

I feel sex and foreplay are about the anticipation and the moments that lead up to the grand finale more than the grand finale itself. Getting in and getting out is not really the name of the game. It is about being intimate and having the moment last. Exploring and experiencing.

Yes, of course, having an orgasm is super nice and a good way to finish...but it is exactly that. A finish. Not the whole race.

Also....why is it that with a female it would be good to get her to orgasm in a minute while with a man it is a huge blow to his masculinity when he cannot last more than a minute or is premature? That is suppose to be a huge turn off and a deal breaker when a man does a false start in the race. Like, men are suppose to be these marathon runners and we ladies are only suppose to be sprinters. I know there are reasons for this, like we can have multiples in seconds and what not, but still. F' that noise.

So.....when I hear this offer, I do not think of how knowledgeable this guy is in the ways of the clitoris. No, I think of how he obviously knows nothing of what a real woman wants in bed.

I feel he should use those phalanges of the hand and that one minute of magic to instead get himself to "cum in one minute" for he will not be getting any stimulating magic from this girl.